Islamic Parenting is a way to train a child according to Islam. Allah has made the parents’ heart as the source of love for their children. It is the natural law that every parent of all species on Earth loves their children. That’s the source for the survival of generations, and the upbringing of a weak newborn. Animals do love their offspring, but they only fed them and raise to a certain level of age. Unlike animals, Humans fed, care, and raise their children but also guide a better life through education and training. Every society and religion has its own customs traditions, and rules to raise generations. Islam provided some excellent guidelines for the parents to bring up their children. Prophet (PBUH) teaches us how up to bring children from birth in the proper Islamic manner.
Basic Rights of Children in Islamic Parenting
Children are, no doubt, a blessing to us. They are born weak and can’t differentiate good or bad. Even they can’t feed by themselves. So, for their survival, our religion has to assign fundamental rights for them, which are below:
RIGHT TO LIVE
Live is a precious gift from Allah. No one even parents don’t have the right to take the life of a child. Live taking includes abortion at any stage of pregnancy or killing after birth. Allah says in the Quran:
And do not kill your child for fear of poverty. We provide for them and you. Indeed, their murder is ever a great sin.
17:31
RIGHT TO BE BREST FEED BY MOTHER FOR TWO YEARS:
Mother feed is the first important right of the child. This will help both to bond strongly. It is necessary for the healthy and proper growth of a child. Moreover, ease for both mother and child. Quran says:
Mothers may breastfeed their babies two whole years for whoever wishes to complete the nursing [period].
According to the WHO research, Breast milk is the natural first food for infants, which provides all the nutrients that the infant needs for the early months of life. Moreover, it offers up to half or more of a child’s nutritional needs during the second half of the first year, and up to one-third during the second year of life.
RIGHT TO BELONG TO A FAMILY:
It right of the child to be known by his father’s name. No parent can disown their child, or deprive the child of the family name. Allah orders his servants in the Quran in these words: Call them (adopted sons) by (the names of) their fathers, that is more just with Allah.[33:5]
THE RIGHT TO HAVE A GOOD NAME:
This is right of a child on parents that hey give him a good name as the name is one thing which will be our recognition from birth till death and also in the hereafter. The name has an impact on the personality of the child. That’s why Prophet (PBUH) emphasizes to name good. According to one narration, The Prophet used to change the bad names of people and places.
RIGHT OF MAINTENANCE:
Its parent’s responsibility to provide necessities of life like food, cloth, living place, and all other basic worldly needs.
RIGHT TO HAVE BASIC EDUCATION:
The child has the right over parents that he receive worldly as well as religious education.
THE RIGHT TO TRAIN ACCORDING TO ISLAM:
It is the right of the child to be brought up in an Islamic environment. So that child lives and dies as Muslim. Islamic parenting is necessary to raise an Islamic society.
Stages of Child Training
Quran says:
Know that the life of this world is but amusement and diversion and adornment and boasting to one another and competition in increase of wealth and offspring.
57:20
Quran explains here five stages of life, i.e., childhood is the age of playing; adolescence is the age of entertainment; youth is the age of seeking luxury and beauty; and, finally, adulthood and senescence is the age of excessive ambition for properties and offspring. First, three stages are when the child passes through the actual training period. He seeks knowledge and behaviour from parents and surroundings, and in the next two stages, he applies all that he found. Islam guides us on how to train the child in these three crucial stages. Hadith of Prophet(PBUH) is:
Play with them for the early seven years; then teach them for the next seven years; then advise them for the next seven years.
Prophet Mohammed (PBUH)
First Stage
The first stage of the child s life is from birth to seven years. It is the time of loving and playing with the child. These are foundation years for a whole life. Parent-child connection builds up in these years. In these years, there is no need to burden children for learning as he learns by observing and get influenced by surroundings. Taking special care, showing love and affection, and playing with the child are vital steps. Smile with him shows him that earth is a beautiful place to live.
Second stage
The second stage is from 7 years to 14 years. Its time to direct training. Guide child for right and wrong, Ethics, moral values, and Islamic teaching. At this stage, children are ready to learn for logical reasoning and Islamic ethics. Teach them how to behave, how to make decisions, what is halal and haram. Encourage them to participate in sports, draw boundaries for their behavior, set rules and guidelines to act positively to every situation. This is the time to train children by examples, stories, softly and by punishment if needed.
Third stage
It starts when the child hits 14 for up to 21 years. In these years, the child has grown up completely and has an independent personality. The child now has a road map in his mind. Now time is to advise the child. Establish a trustful relationship with them. Be a friend of them so that they can confidently share their experience, problems, and challenges. Be available for them to guide them and help them where they stuck.
Key points for the child up bring in Islamic way/ Islamic Parenting
- Praise child.
- Don’t compare child weakness with another child.
- Motivate them to move on.
- Supplicate for their success in the world and hereafter.
- Be a role model for them, as they will follow what parents do.
- Encourage good habits.
- Do not differentiate among children.
- Give equal rights to the female child as male. The perfect example is in Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH), who respects His daughters, kiss and loves them.
- Respect every child from an early age
- Love and kiss them.
- Thanks, Allah for the blessing of offspring.
- Be patient on their mistakes like Hazrat Yaqub do on his son’s mistakes.
Supplications for child upbringing / Islamic Parenting:
Hazrat Ibrahim (AS) ask Allah for saleh offspring these words:
My Lord, grant me from among the righteous.
At another place Hazrat Ibrahim ask Allah like this:
O Lord, Make me and my children stable in Salah, Our Lord accept the prayer. Our Lord, forgive me and my parents and the believers on the Day of Judgement.
In Quran surah Furqan Allah praise people asking for pious offspring and teaches us to pray like this:
And those who say, “Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous.”
This dua was made by Zakariyya AS when he saw the sustenance provided by Allah to Maryam AS. He asks for pious offspring as:
My Lord, grant me from Yourself a good offspring. Indeed, You are the Hearer of supplication.”
