Anger management is a skill to recognize anger and control it. Anger is a natural feeling experienced by every person, caused due to inner displeasure, desire for revenge and annoyance. Being natural emotion, it is most difficult to avoid anger. Moreover, it’s not our mission to never get angry. But important thing is that we must know how to recognize and express anger in productive and healthy ways. In Anger, the brain becomes out of control and powerless, such a person forgets the etiquettes and morals. Anger management is important to reduce the loss caused by uncontrolled emotions and the use of this energy in a positive way.
Effects of Anger
- Anger is a natural emotion but its effects are negative if one can’t get control over it.
- It affects mental health, like anxiety, leading to depression, guilt, frustration and end with isolation and cut off.
- Anger has a great impact on one’s physical health as well, like headaches, upset stomach, and heart problems etc.
- Moreover, it affects family relations and society as a whole.
- Most important is that such a person displeases Allah.
- Lake of interest in prayers and good deeds.
Anger Management by Quran
Allah has created us. He knows well His creation. Islam has a complete set of guidelines for us to deal with every situation. Anger is a strong emotion which we can’t control without inner power. Moreover, when anger is out of control it brings a lot of destruction. Thanks to Almighty Allah that He teaches us in the Quran how to deal with such states of mind. Moreover, it guides how to play a fruitful role in society by controlling our emotions. Allah loves those who control anger, as Quran says:
They are those who donate in prosperity and hardship, restrain their anger and forgive others. And Allah loves the good-doers.
Quran 3:134
What’s more important than Allah’s love. A person who controls his anger and forgive again and again. So, one who is eager to get Allah’ love must manage to control anger.
Allah gives us examples of Prophets who beautifully manage anger and destress. Quran gives an example of Hazrat Ibrahim(AS) when His father uses harsh and threatening words. Quran narrates these words as:
He threatened, “How dare you reject my idols(gods), O Abraham! If you do not desist, I will verily stone you to death. So be gone from me for a long time!”
Quran 19:46
After hearing these words from his father, Ibrahim(AS) didn’t lose his temper but manage his anger positively. He didn’t even get frightened. Ibrahim(AS) shows positive gesture with love for father. He was still a well-wisher to His disbeliever father. He replied:
Ibraham(AS) responded, “Peace be upon you! I will pray to my Lord for your forgiveness. He has truly been Most Gracious to me.
19:47
Ibrahim(AS) has a great example for us as controlling anger kills the situation that can get ugly and terrible very soon.
Moreover, true believers are those manage anger in best ways. Allah point out them in Quran as:
who avoid major sins and shameful deeds, and forgive when angered;
42:37
This verse has a clear tip to manage the anger that is by forgiving. Forgiving is a power when a person not only forgive others by outer self but also by heart. This brings peace and positivity which has the power to relieve from ill effects of anger.
O you who believe! Seek help in patience and the prayer. Truly! Allah is with the those that are patient.
Quran 2:153
Patience is key element to control anger. It can not only manage anger but also raise our rewards near Allah.
Anger Management in Sunnah and Hadiths
Prophet(ﷺ ) is a real role model for all humanity. He teaches us beautiful words and actions to deal with everyday problems. The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) says:
When one of you becomes angry while standing, he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down.
(Ahmad, Tirmidhi)
By changing posture, one can control anger. Moreover, Prophet(ﷺ) teaches us to be silent in situations where we get angry. Ibn ‘Abbas reported:
Prophet(ﷺ) said, ‘ Teach and make it easy. Teach and make it easy.’ three times. He went on, ‘When you are angry, be silent’ twice.
Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 1320
Prophet(ﷺ) motivate a person who suppresses anger even when he can take action as a most strong person. As controlling own self is a most difficult task. When one is able to control his nafs he can do anything. He is a strong one as he defeats his strong emotions and forgives others. Mu’adh ibn Anas narrated that Prophet (ﷺ) said:
If anyone restrains anger when he is in a position to give vent to it, Allah, the Exalted, will call him on the Day of judgement over the heads of all creatures. and ask him to choose any of the bright and large-eyed maidens he wishes.
Sunan Abi Dawud 4777
At another place, Abd Allah (b. Mas`ud) reported Prophet (ﷺ) as saying:
Whom do you consider a wrestler among you? The people said: whom the men cannot defeat in wrestling. He said: No, it is he who controls himself in anger.
Sunan Abi Dawud 4779
Supplications for Anger
“I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Satan”.
Abu Dawud: 4781 Al-Bukhari: 6115
